You guys. I got Lessons in Chemistry in some 2-for-1 deal on Audible. I looked at the cover — fun red dress lady carrying a TV! I looked at blurbs like these:
“Lessons in Chemistry’s excellent experiment [is] quirky and heartwarming."
“An irresistible buoyancy.”
"Lessons in Chemistry is a breath of fresh air — a witty, propulsive, and refreshingly hopeful novel populated with singular characters.”
And I thought, “Cool. I’ll listen to that book while I sew a dress.”
I guess this is the moment in my life that I should reconsider my stance on not reading any sort of reviews or summaries of books before diving in because this book absolutely wrecked me. I listened like it was a highway car crash over two intense days. I was not laughing. I did not find an irresistible buoyancy. I was not heart-warmed.
(I did sew a dress.)
When the book ended, I sort of collapsed off my chair onto the floor and sobbed, loudly, for quite a while.
I don’t want to give you any spoilers, but I need to give something of a reason for my reaction. It probably isn’t everyone’s reaction — as evidenced by the quips above.
The first thing I didn’t see coming was the violence against women. It was so difficult for me to listen to that I phoned a friend to ask if I should even keep going. She told me that I should, and she is very smart. So I did keep going. But there is violence against women throughout the whole book. For anyone who has been the victim of sexual violence, it’s not a punchline.
And layered on top of that, the whole story is occurring in this remarkably sexist, misogynistic man’s world of chemistry in the 1960s. I do wonder if the sexism was supposed to be sort of over-the-top, in-your-face to make a point. Whether it was or not, I found it so deep inside my bones true to my own experience as a single mom trying to make a living for myself that it wasn’t humorous.
This book is heartbreakingly, absolutely true.
It stirred up for me the feelings that are always simmering under the surface. I try to pretend that the difficulty of being a single mom in the workforce (and in the world) isn’t the wound that it is, until something like this puts it all into sharp relief. It is truly difficult to stomach the difference between my life and a man’s life. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it — and it hurts even more to know that no one cares if I do.
So, the book wrecked me. It broke my heart. It wrung me inside-out. But it was necessary and perhaps even good for me.
I think my blurb would read more like this: “Lessons in Chemistry is a heartbreaking move through a world made to make women feel like quirky misfits, like the butt of all the jokes. Thankfully it ends with the woman wielding a large knife.”
I wish I could pull the ending of this book into my own life — and into the lives of every woman who spends her days pushing back against a world that refuses to see or hear her.
Genre: Semi-literary fiction (?) masquerading as upmarket chic-lit
Format: Audible
Read it If: You can stomach the tough stuff long enough to get to the payoff.
Steer Clear If: You can’t take this level of misogyny or violence against women.
Would I Recommend this to My Parents: No. (But, maybe?)