Beauty Made You

Here I am on the coast of Cornwall in Newquay. Did I take a minute to pretend that I was Demelza from Poldark? Yes, yes I did. This required removing my shoes, rolling up my pants, and running into the ocean with wild abandon. (I’m sure there are pictures of this somewhere, but I don’t have them yet.)

While there, we got to interview Hugo Tagholm, an Executive Director for Oceana. I cannot wait for you to hear the episode on Constant Wonder | BYUradio but it won’t drop until sometime early next year, so I’ll try not to spoil anything.

What really stuck with me from our chat with Hugo was his belief that the ocean is always preparing what you need. He was talking about surfing, but that idea has stuck with me even though I’ve never given surfing any serious thought. (Obviously an oversight on my part.)

To think that the wind and the clouds and the water and the boats and the people and the moon and the whales—who are days, or even weeks, away from you—are all gathering together to give you what you need.

And, before you scratch your head, let me say that I definitely get why that might be hard to believe.

A few years ago I felt love enough to marry for a second time. The wedding felt like all the dreams I had set aside out of necessity to raise my kids on my own were finally opening again. It was heady and exciting, delirious and lucky.

So you can imagine how deeply embarrassed, ashamed, and depressed I felt when the marriage fell apart within weeks. I was losing everything, again. Dreams closing down, again. Questioning everything about myself, again.

I don’t wish that level of despair on anyone.

It certainly didn’t feel like the moon or the clouds cared whether I succeeded or failed, let alone the whales and the water and whatever else.

And yet, just days ago, I found myself standing on the shore of the ocean in Cornwall, a place I had dreamed of returning to for more than twenty years. It was a dream I had long ago convinced myself I needed to let go. It would take so many more words to tell you all the fantastic arranging it took the universe to put me on that shore, so maybe just believe me for now that everything was working to bring me goodness, just not exactly in the timeframe or method I would have preferred.

So if there is hope for me, there is hope for you. No matter how badly you feel you’ve bungled things or how endless and winding your detours have been. The moon and the stars and the whales and the wind and the water cycle and whatever else is magic and mysterious, is gathering to bring you good.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote in his essay The Poet:

The world is not painted or adorned, but is from the beginning beautiful; and God has not made some beautiful things, but Beauty is the creator of the universe.

You, my friends, are part of everything beautiful. And beauty has made you.